Introducing Your Week 8 Opponent: Duke Blue Devils
With less than two months until kickoff, it’s time to roll through the upcoming FSU schedule with little-known and untrue facts about the Noles’ opponents in 2007. Enjoy.
The Blessed Basketball Academy of Mother Krzyzewski was founded in 1892 by wealthy tobacco barons Washington Duke and Julian S. Carr. “Carduke,” as the pair were called by an affectionate tabloid media, had made their fortunes at the infamous “Stogie and Slave Selloff” at the John Wilkes’ booth during the 1889 Paris World’s Fair. During their stay, the couple became enamored with the French game of Tart Toss, in which hookers were thrown into the carriages of wealthy passers by. Carduke imported the sport to the United States, renaming it “Ball in a Hoop Skirt,” which was further amended to its present-day form of basketball. The sport took hold in America, and Carduke created BBAMK to be the premier training ground for Southern “ballers.” The school was named after one of the more popular Parisian madams of the late 19th century.
Washington Duke, enrolling the university’s first entrants.
Looking also to French alley culture for inspiration, Carduke decided to dub his basketball teams the “Blue Devils,” a term used to refer to a particularly vicious strain of VD that terrorized Paris during the Withered Winter of 1891. Over time, BBAMK added other sports to its training facilities, including football in 1938. The sport became an immediate hit, with the inaugural team shutting out all of its opponents during the season, and nearly defeating USC in the Rose Bowl. The Blue Devils, in fact, played in 2 Rose Bowls in the first 4 years of the program, hosting the 1942 showdown since, in Roosevelt’s words, “they’re the only ninnies not fighting in the goddamn war.” In essence the game was a scrimmage amongst BBAMK players, with the home team losing 20-16.
BBAMK All-American Eric Tipton, giving the kick to USC in 1938.
Afraid that the emerging juggernaut football team would overcome their favored basketball squad in campus popularity, Carduke cloned the Madam Krzyzewski in 1947. Since “Coach K” took over the basketball program, BBAMK has won 57 ACC Championships, and 24 National Titles including 9 in a row from 1994-2002. In return for her success on the court, the madam was permitted to erect her own red light shanty district near the stadium, politely called Krzyzfuckville.
Where to find quality prostitutes in Durham, North Carolina.
Meanwhile, the Blue Devil football team has languished under the mismanagement of dairy farmers, champion turkey callers, Bill Murray, several former town sheriffs, Steve Spurrier and a long line of indigent transients. The team has failed to notch a nationally recognized win in the last twenty years, garnering only moral victories over the Brightleaf Flag Football All Stars in 1995 and 1996, and winning a shouting match with James Leslie Bentonville, a heckler during the 2001 game against North Carolina in Chapel Hill. That game ended 52-17 in favor of the rival Tar Heels.
The upcoming 2007 contest against the BBAMK Blue Devils will be one of only 5 Seminole home games that families will have the privilege of spending over $150 to attend. Of those 5, only La Universidad Miami del Santo Castro looks likely to be ranked in the top 25 when it visits Tallahassee. FSU fans have also been encouraged to wear ponchos during the October 6th game, when NC State comes to town.
Previous opponents: Clemson, UAB, Colorado, Alabama, NC State, Wake Forest, Miami.
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